For some reason, I was paging through a Twins pocket schedule and started looking at the upcoming Theme Nights. There are a few that I'm really not sure what they are. Some are obvious, like the different colored cap nights and the Wine, Women and Baseball nights when you get a stemless wine glass.

OK, I'll mention that ones I'm not sure about and speculate. Then I'll cheat and go to Google and see if I'm close as to what they mean. Here we go.

April 29 is Twins Wrestling Mask night. When I think of wrestling masks as to young wrestlers, I see ear protection and maybe a nose guard. Or is it a mask like the pro wrestlers wear? Maybe a blackened-out mouth with two baseballs for eyes. I'm back. I googled it and it appears it is a real weird looking mask like pro wrestlers wear.

May 9 is Twins Scrub Bottoms Night. All I can think of is the scrubs that doctors and nurses wear, kind of like pajama bottoms. Are they giving away pajama bottoms? I just looked this one up too. It looks like something I grew up calling sweat pants.

June 8 is Twins Superhero T-Shirt Night. That's an easy one to figure out. I'm sure glad it's only a t-shirt and not a complete superhero uniform. Then you'd have to have a bunch of fans running around wearing masks. Superheroes almost always wear masks. I suppose if I had to run around in public wearing my underwear on the outside like Batman and Superman, I'd want to hide my face, too.

September 22 is Twins Love Your Melon Beanie Night. I'm at a complete loss on this one. Watermelon? Musk Melon? Or maybe a reference to one's head? Aha! I've just learned that Love Your Melon is a brand name of cap.

September 23 it's Twins Zubaz Pants. Again, I'm totally lost. What is or are Zubaz? Well my final Google attempt and I now know what Zubaz pants are. Hard to describe though. They're pants with a bunch of wavy lines. The black with white lines ones look like my old TV set on a bad broadcast day.

All in all not a bad effort for I've learned a few things. My mother always said "If you've got it, flaunt it." Too bad all I have to flaunt is ignorance.

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