Things To Ponder In 2016

The New Year is here and as usual I didn't make any resolutions. Why bother? I'm too old to remember them. However, there are a few things I'd like to find answers to in 2016.

1. How do you pay a bankruptcy attorney? Or do they forgive your debt?

2. Would the easiest way to make it into the Guinness Book of World Records be to set a record for the most hours logged by a married man doing housework in a year? It's probably not too many is it?

3. I saw a Poultry Processing Plant ad looking for third shift chicken hangers. Seems like a lot of extra work. Why not just chop the chicken's head off like we did on the farm?

4. Does a vegan wear leather shoes?

5. Why is it almost all images of supposed ghosts are wearing clothes?

6. If you get a tattoo of a grape, will it look like a raisin when you get old?

7. How much money would a pizza chain save if they put their pizzas in round boxes instead of square ones? It's called cutting corners.

8. Should I put my wife's mind at ease and finally explain that these "Amber Alerts" I get on my phone really aren't messages from a girl named Amber I'm seeing on the side?

9. If you put one of those guys who wears their pants below their rear in a roped-off area with the rope about three feet off the ground, would they figure out a way to escape?

10. If you imprisoned Muslim lawbreakers at the North Pole, would they all freak out? Which way is east?

A few unimportant things to ponder in the New Year.