I Guess I’ll Go Hungry

Loren, did you eat ALL of that left over chicken?  Yeah, I didn't want it to go to waste!.. Well, I guess I'll go hungry during lunch tomorrow. Gentleman, does this sound like your home...guess what? you've got lots and lots of company. Let's bond!! My neighbor(I'll call him Bud) and I have this conversation so often. Our wives get mad if we eat the leftovers.  If we don't eat them, then we get scolded for letting food go to waste. Conversations like this only help me bond more and more with my friend Bud.  Great talks where the other one nods his head, pumps his fist  and says yeah, yeah, my wife's like that too. Talks that include lines like, there was enough there for 4 meals and you ate it in one sitting. Have you checked the price of groceries lately?  If it wasn't meant for you to eat, why do you think I left it  in the fridge? This topic came up at work today with a co worker. (I'll call him J.C. to protect his identity) He said the exact same thing... if he eats the leftovers, he's in trouble, if he doesn't eat them, he's in trouble..I've found this problem gets much worse once "empty nest" time comes. You can no long use the excuse that "I didn't touch it, but I saw so and so eye'n it" Guys, here's one tip that may help if you really have to sneak food. Eat it with your shirt off or if it's really cold, eat it with a sweatshirt on backwards. After eating, put the sweatshirt on the correct way. It''s less likely she'll associate the stains on your back with food stains. I've also had problems with chips at home..Loren, what happened to that bag of chips in the cupboard.
They were all soggy and soft, so I ate them. I know you don't like soggy chips and I just saved you from a dreadful experience..But, I just bought them!! I've learned to check the expiration date before I use this line. With age comes wisdom..I told my co-worker that during my entire married life, we've always had a minimum of 4 to 6 sour cream containers in the fridge every single day with half of them opened . Loren, that's cuz they think they're out and they pick up an extra one just in case when they're grocery shopping.  Women hate to start cooking and then realize they're out of something. I think I'll remember that the next time I buy beer.

I feel I may have solved one of life's mysteries. God not only created woman, he created them all alike...and don't mess with their leftovers. We have come to a bit of a better situation in my home since my wife bought me colorful divided containers. If the food is in one of them, I can eat it. If it isn't, stay away!!!!