I Bought a Dress
I bought my wife a dress for Christmas. It was either our first or second Christmas after we'd gotten married. It was back in the day when I was young and thought a guy had to impress his wife. It wasn't easy walking into a dress shop and making a choice. I guess she liked it. I can't remember. However!!! I do remember the second time I bought her an outfit for Christmas. Now before I continue gentleman, have any of you guys had the courage to buy your wife a dress? and my second question for you men, can you tell me your wife's size without hesitating? I'd also like to point out that I'm not too worldly even as far as men's clothing. I think my suit size is 40 or 40ish and my waist varies from 34 to 36 depending on whether I've been eating tacos and cabbage or not. Double digit numbers Keep these thoughts in mind as I continue..
I walked into Harriet's Dresswell in Blooming Prairie. The clerk(it wasn't Harriet) asked if she could help. I told her I was looking for a dress for my wife. She asked what size. Hindsight now tells me that even though I had number stuck in my head, I should have asked my mother in law my wife's size just to play it safe. I told her.. "I'm not positive but I think it's 58." The clerk said nothing.. This was over 20 years ago and I don't remember the details but the clerk then asked me to describe my wife.(if someone gives me a shovel, I'm going to use it, hence, I'm about to dig a deeper hole) "Well, she's maybe a little taller than you" I replied... More silence. Well, after being led to the clothes rack and looking through the clothes I realized that I had really botched this one up. Now guys, if there was such a thing as a size 58 dress, you could probably use it as a pontoon cover during the winter. I then realized why the clerk had just stared at me. I don't remember the exact size but I guess it was like a 7,8, 9, 10 or something way way less than a 58. I don't remember her size, but it's not important as I won't need that information again I suspect..
I capped off that Christmas by explaining my error to my wife. I do remember the details on that part. She wheeled around and said Loren!!!! 58??? "that's probably what you paid for that first dress you bought me. It's the kind of stupid thing you'd remember". I think she's right. I would remember the price but not the size..I suspect many folks have a favorite funny Christmas story and this is one of mine. I'm sure glad I wasn't shopping for lingerie. I would probably have been thrown out of the shop.