When looking for a wife in Southern Minnesota, there are certain things that'll work that just wouldn't cut it in places like New York or Los Angeles.

  • 1

    You need an ice breaker.

    This one will surely work: Walk up to her and say, "Mosquitos bad at your place, too?"

  • 2

    On the first date

    "Would you be interested in coming with me to the free cholesterol screening? Afterward, we can stop for pizza. My treat. I'll even spring for extra cheese. I really like cheese."

  • 3

    Let her know some of your priorities

    "We're all set for dinner tomorrow night, but I should have your cell phone number. You see, Rosie is due to freshen any day now and I sure can't leave her alone at a time like this."

  • 4

    Learn a little personal info

    "That sure is a sweet truck you drive. Got a clean title?"

  • 5

    It's getting serious and you have to level with her

    "Um, I think you should know something about me. I really, really love the Packers!"

    You may have to go back out after this step and begin again with step 1 and another girl.

    Don't give up. I was 34 when I got married. Perhaps there's a reason?